dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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