don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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