i jhust puked up my retainher.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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