So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
