You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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