haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
