When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Ladies don't puke and tell
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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