Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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