i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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