Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
