he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
