Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
