Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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