dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
