Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
