Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
