He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
