R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
