The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
