There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
