I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
