I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
