ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
