this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
