I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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