What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
