I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
