I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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