I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
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11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
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I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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