I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
