I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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