doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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