True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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