no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
