I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I smell stomach acid.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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