I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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