Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
