The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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