You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
