You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize