you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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