Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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