Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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