I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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