well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.