they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps