Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor