Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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