ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize