I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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