I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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