Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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