I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
