I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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