ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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