I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
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All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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