$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
