The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
