You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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