If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
