Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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