sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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