also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
